Single Parenting – The First Lesson on Acceptance
By Cynthia Esquillo
As the number of broken marriages and pregnancies out of wed lock increases, the number of single parents also increases. At first, these events seem to prove how life can be so unfair. While the separation hurts both the couple, one would claim more pain than the other. The self-thought pain then produces hatred that directly or indirectly reverberates to the children. The extent of psychological impact to the parent is passed to the children who are so fragile and easily absorbs whatever their environment presents them. If anger, anxiety and fear would not be transformed positively, the children suffer the consequences until they themselves learn to take charge of their lives. The parent, who is supposed to be guiding the children, also suffers unless he or she looks at life and its circumstances positively.
Everyday, we are confronted with several circumstances and choices. Sometimes, the things that we choose offer excitement and very temporary happiness that we forget these things have consequences we would have to deal in the immediate or distant future. Let us take for example the sexual relationship we choose. Many unwanted and unplanned pregnancies have been the result of this type of relationship. While the freedom to engage in sex would initially send thrill to the partners, the new life produced out of this union would suddenly change the initial excitement to anxieties.
The same is true with marital relationship. Once the honeymoon stage is over, couple wakes up with a lot of complains, financial worries, attitude problem and incompatibility, and a lot more issues. The situation become unbearable until one initiates to leave. Each of these break ups produces single parent that decides to choose the responsibility and challenge of rearing the innocent children.
Accepting Things as They Are
All things do not last. Happiness ends to welcome grief; but sadness does end, too, to welcome new form of joy. This is one important universal law that all of us must master. When a door closes, several new doors open and present unlimited windows of new and better opportunities. All the pains that we experience carry with it a seed of greater happiness and blessings in disguise. By focusing on happiness instead of the pain, the latter quickly disappears and gives birth to the desired happiness. The sufferings we experience are prolonged because we choose to delve on it by thinking so much of it. To accept things as they are in the fastest way possible results to a calm state of mind that allows us to make better decisions and timely grabs the passing opportunities and circumstances in life.
Cynthia Esquillo is a single parent who shares her parenting experiences through writing. Read more of single parenting experiences and lessons by checking her articles at www.unityforpeaceandplenty.blogspot.com.
Enjoy life in its fullest. There is only the PRESENT MOMENT to experience it.
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