How to Teach Good Manners to Your Kids
By Irina Tischenko
Talks of proper manners tend to sound old fashioned and insignificant in these modern times that parents choose to neglect it, or they’re just too busy to give it some thought. There is no better time to stop and think this over than now. Proper manners can play a big role on the kind of person your child is to become and deserves your attention.
Children with poor manners are generally disliked by peers and can result to a lower self-esteem. This can lead to a domino effect that may last until adulthood. Your child will likely grow up into a person that is disliked by peers or coworkers. He may even experience problems in his relationship with his family.
Teaching children good manners is much like teaching them lifelong survival skills. In almost all facets of a person’s life, proper social skills are needed and there’s no better place to start instilling these but through the basics-teaching good manners.
For starters, it is important that we inculcate among our children the habit of saying the magic words. Gone is the era when the words “Please,” “Thank You,” and “Excuse Me” were generally part of the children’s vocabulary. At these times, getting children to form this habit may require much more effort. A constant reminder will be necessary and modeling from parents a requirement.
You must be careful in your choice of words when chastising your child over an improper behavior. Avoid labeling. Instead, point out the behavior that you didn’t like and suggest ways by which he could have done better.
You should also train your child in using the proper tone of voice when faced with a conflict. Children may not be aware that they are whining or that they are being argumentative. They are simply stating their point. It is your job to make them realize their mistake.
Insist that your kids practice even the most basic of good manners such as proper greetings. Teach them to use Mr. and Mrs. when addressing adults that are not members of the family. You should also train them proper table etiquette as this is usually used as a gauge of the kind of upbringing a person had. Also, explain to your child why it is important for him to be polite even in telephone conversations. Make it a big no-no to be rude when answering the phone at any time.
Teach your kids to request, instead of demanding. It can make all the difference. Some children may not be aware of the difference though and may need your patient coaching. You may have to rephrase what they’re saying for every time they are making this mistake. Instead of saying, “Leave me alone,” teach him to say, “May I please have a moment to think things over.”
More importantly, you must learn to practice what you preach. This will help make you more convincing to your kids and it will be easier for children growing up in a polite environment to be proper in their manners. And don’t forget to congratulate them for every progress they make. Make it a practice to point out the good side of your kids. This kind of positive attitude can help make them want to be the better person that you are teaching them to become.
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