How to Avoid Embarrassment When Your Child Misbehaves
By Erin A. Kurt
You know the feeling – your heart begins to pound, your face turns red, and the thoughts of, “Oh, how embarrassing. I can’t believe he did that. What should I do now?” race through your mind in a millisecond.
We have all been there at one time or another as it’s our child’s job to get angry and frustrated with the world it is trying to figure out, but what is the best way to handle a situation when your child misbehaves?
Let’s say your 3 year old is playing with a toy and a 9 month old is sitting nearby watching. The 9 month old becomes enticed by the lights and goes to grab the toy from your son. He becomes protective and pushes her. She fall backwards and hits her head on the floor.
When the baby fell, it is almost certain that she would cry, so that alone would be a shock to your child and would definitely make for some quick learning on his part that the behavior shouldn’t be repeated. However, as a parent, you need to impress this lesson upon him. Therefore, quickly remove him to somewhere private and say in a matter-of-fact voice, “No pushing. Pushing hurts. Even if the baby starts to take your toy, ask me for help. No pushing.” Keep the sentences short and to the point, making statements only. No lectures, no sweet voice, no questions. (“Why did you do that?”)
Then, if this were ever to happen again, I suggest you immediately say, “You come with me while I say sorry to the baby’s mom.” Trying to make the child say sorry is not a good idea at this age (5 and older is okay) because they probably aren’t sorry and also because he probably won’t. That just makes this situation doubly embarrassing! So, you say it on behalf of both of you. This is a terrific time to model what a good “sorry” sounds like.
The next time you and your son are in a playing environment be sure to stand or sit near him ready to remind him of the behavior you expect or to give him the words he might need in a difficult situation. Finally, if he pushes after a warning, you must pick him up, say, “No pushing. We don’t push people. We are going home. You can try again tomorrow.” Then, do not say anything else. The silence will allow your child to process all that has happened and your reaction to it. Silence is where the true learning will take place.
Erin Kurt is currently the president of Erin Parenting, a company devoted to empowering parents with the tools, training and support they need to create the family life they truly desire. She is also the author of Juggling Family Life The Only Step-By-Step Guide You’ll Need to Create the Family Life You’ve Always Desired. To learn more about her book and to sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her site at http://erinparenting.com/
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